November 2009 E-News

Quote of the Month
“The thankful receiver bears a plentiful harvest.” William Blake


Blog
November is best known for Thanksgiving, which is best known for turkey, the focus of this month's blog. The turkey is often maligned and I have no idea why. And feathers fly if called one! The turkey is one of the most famous birds in North America and Ben Franklin (my favorite American) wanted to make the wild turkey, not the Bald Eagle, the national bird of the United States. This just in from a letter Mr. Franklin wrote to his daughter, Sarah Bache on January 26, 1784;

For my own part I wish the Bald Eagle had not been chosen the Representative of our Country. He is a Bird of bad moral character. He does not get his Living honestly. You may have seen him perched on some dead Tree near the River, where, too lazy to fish for himself, he watches the Labour of the Fishing Hawk; and when that diligent Bird has at length taken a Fish, and is bearing it to his Nest for the Support of his Mate and young Ones, the Bald Eagle pursues him and takes it from him.

With all this Injustice, he is never in good Case but like those among Men who live by Sharping & Robbing he is generally poor and often very lousy. Besides he is a rank Coward: The little King Bird not bigger than a Sparrow attacks him boldly and drives him out of the District. He is therefore by no means a proper Emblem for the brave and honest Cincinnati of America who have driven all the King birds from our Country...

I am on this account not displeased that the Figure is not known as a Bald Eagle, but looks more like a Turkey. For the Truth the Turkey is in Comparison a much more respectable Bird, and withal a true original Native of America... He is besides, though a little vain & silly, a Bird of Courage, and would not hesitate to attack a Grenadier of the British Guards who should presume to invade his Farm Yard with a red Coat on.

See why I love Ben so? OK, back to the courageous and noble wild turkey. They spend their days gobbling (ha ha) acorns, seeds, small insects and wild berries and you can often see them in clusters foraging along the roadsides of major thoroughfares - always an exhilarating sight! They spend their nights in low branches of trees (yes, wild turkeys can fly) and like the bumble bee, this is a truly amazing aerodynamic feat!

Finally, turkey is especially delicious served hot with heaping sides of mashed potato, turnip, and stuffing, all smothered with delicious giblet gravy and jellied cranberry sauce.


Turkey Terms

Caruncle - brightly colored growths on the throat region. Turns bright red when the turkey is upset or during courtship. Can also be created on the necks of unsuspecting Homo sapiens in back seats of cars.

Poult - a baby turkey. Also an excellent Scrabble word.
Snood - the flap of skin that hangs over the turkey's beak. Also turns bright red when the turkey is upset or during courtship. Most human snoods only turn red when they drink too much.

Tom - a male turkey. Also known as a gobbler. OK, now I get why some men folk might on rare occasion can be called a turkey.

Wattle - the flap of skin under the turkey's chin. It can also be found on the anatomy of older adult Homo sapiens and was first brought to my attention as the fetish obsession of Richard Fisher, the co-starring lawyer character on the Ally McBeal show (1997-2002) played brilliantly by Gregg Germann.

Turkey Trot - an animated strutting-like display of sexual attraction by male turkeys for their female counterparts. This animated strutting-like display can be observed in the male population of the human species, especially noticeable while attempting to dance or after imbibing too much Wild Turkey!